Labels: Life, Reflection

Labels: Life, School

Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!

Gimme an empty room and I can go on screaming for minutes!!!

All you need to do now

is to scream at me

and

there..the tears might just flow out..

gosh..

at least I might feel better after that..

Really!

Feel soo cramped up..

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!

Talk about being

in the middle of friends..

Parents..

feeling like a mannequin

in between two people..

Doing good for others

and

getting mud back into your face..

Being stacked up with responsibilities..

Projects..

Emotional turmoils..

and

worst of all

Not being sure if we are on the right track..

Just feel the pressure buliding up each day..

Scenarios might be different but the end result..

Scenario 1:

He wants to come..She wants to him to come as well..hell!!

Even I want him to come..

After all the 3 of us

have been together for soo many years..

but then

What am I to do

If the household management says no..

What if they are bent on their impression

based on what they saw and heard?

Its not as if I didnt try..

I tried my best to alter it..

I could not..and I would'nt blame them totally..

and

now I am in the middle..

Shes sayin talk to them..

I said I did..

and

there she goes asking me what to tell him..

man..yeah I know..

Both of them love me to the core..m struggling...

I wish he had never changed this much..

but then changes are the only constants in life..

Scenario 2:

She does'nt feel good..I don't feel good.

We feel that the week has to be over

for us to really smile

genuinely..

Things seem much more complicated..

Scenario 3:

My super hero..

Shattered..Torn..

Talks about death..before birth..

Talks about ruining everything

after october 13..

has started smoking..

She says its 'healthy' cigars..

They look bad to me..

I am scared..very scared...

Scenario 4:

Nightmares..real terrifying ones..

used to come only after midnight..

Now its invading my peaceful afternoons as well..

The similar components..

The dark room..

The women..

The fangs..

The feeling That this is' nt real

but has the ability to keep me shut inside..

giving me chills down my spine..

paranoid..getting real paranoid..

The things that keep me going

and

makes me smile

when I step out in my shoes:

my studies..

my future

and

no matter what happens,

my loved ones who still linger around..

I cant afford to lose my grip again...

no..I wont..I promised..I will hold on..

I will..

and

thats a promise

I will withhold

even

when they are not around physically...

&

I have realized ..

Just a smile can do wonders..

and the same smile can create wreck..

oh my..

Never in my life

have I missed someone's smile so much...

hiaz..

=) Take Care (=

Labels: anger, depression, Life

Feeling darn sleepy..

eyelids are just shutting themselves down..

hehe..guess, not enuff of caffeine boost..

oh maybe its just tiredness..

came back from aynul's home today..

Did some 'high - rised' painting yestrday..

from 830 till 4 30 in the morn..

yeah..I stayed overnight..

after loggie's home..nearly after 6 months..

I was not at home for the night..

Kather and habeeb were there too..

been long since I saw them..

kinda missed them a bit too much..

Habeeb left soon enuff.. rushing off to see his austrailian potential bride..haha kk just kidding..

The boy is gonna go austrailia for NS reasons..that too on raya morning..hiaz..

but had fun with kather around..

Although he was running

to his '5 mins' break whenever he can,

must say this;

'DEY!! u haf improved alot!!

haha..akka will be waiting for you

at her new home

with paints and brushes!!'

hmm..learnt a few new things..

about painting..

about blending in with the surrounding

and

about the people whom you got to work with..

yeah..when it comes to getting things done within a time constrain,

chances of seeing a new facet of the individual is quite high..

and

the way people react to the situation

when they are thrown in without being mentally prepared..

interesting..

oh yeah before i end..

just wanna get some views on a scenario..

lets just say there are 2 best friends..

(Persons A & B)

A made a new friend (C)

and

gets quite close to the person

within a short period.

One fine day,

A is not feeling well

while at B's home.

B takes care of A.

A gets back home

and

B recieves an email from C.

C thanks B for taking care of A.

Although B feels awkward for being thanked

for what he/ she feels is her responsiblity,

she/he replies back in a nice manner

saying that its his/her responsibilty

and

such..

anyway thanks for caring for A that much.

The story follows and C goes to A

claiming that he/she felt bad for sending such a msg..

bla bla bla and everything is well for some time..

then comes another scenario

where C thanks B again for being there for A..

p.s: A & B are of the same gender whereas C is of the opposite gender of them.

My doubts here are:

1) how should B react to all these 'thanks' which is making him/her feel darn uneasy as he/she has been there for A for a long time.

2) Knowing that A and B have been more then bestfriends, is what C did right?

and any other valuable views on these scenario are greatly appreciated..

Just wanna see

how people react in such scenarios..

=) Take Care (=

Labels: Life

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Labels: Life

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