Music that soothes my soul..
Teddys Don't Hug Back..
But Sometimes,
Thats All You've Got..
FALLEN ANGEL;

Some day everything will make purfect sense! So for now,Luff @ the confusion..Smile thru the tears & Keep Reminding yourself.. That Everything Happens 4 A Reason! :)

My Life's Wonders;
My Ambience. Photography. :) Rain. Babies. Breeze. Books. Papa. Mama. Loggie. Baayi. Childhood buddies. Cuzzies. Editing. Music. Dancing. Choreography. Eventz Organizing. Cooking. Ice Milo. Indulging in ice cream while walking in the drizzling rain =p To Be mesmerized into the book world while hugging my soft toys! Hanging out. and all the things that helps me improve myself inside out =p

DETESTS;
Change your negatives into positives & you will see a bright new world..

   
You say it best when you say nothing at all;
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LINKS;

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MEMORIES;

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? Thank You Note;

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Deviantart Brushes & to Nawaz who opened my eyes to the VAST world of BLog Skins =)

Thursday, March 27, 2008
1:28 AM


Trapped
It feels so trapped..
To be lost...
To be simply clueless...
And yet again...
Holding on to the clutches of hope...
Yearning
For the rays
of
The delightful sunshine
to
Fall upon me...
Looking forward to the day
The darkness would be lifted
and
in its place...
How I yearn to see
the aspiring
7 coloured rainbow...
What would it be like ...
To be
In
the middle of the meadow...
To run like
a carefree child...
Be free like a butterfly...
Yeah...
even
a butterfly
has
its own safety zone
doesn’t it...?
Once
in grasp of a human’s hands,
It loses its ability
To soar up
high in the sky..
That’s how
I feel too...
The wings are there...
And yet...
Someone’s holding them...
Binding them
so tightly...
That it
loses it appeal...
To be confined
to
a dark room
Is
Different
from confining
yourself
Within your soul...
It gets nerve wrecking
When
there’s no one
whom
you can trust...
I am suppose to say
'Trust me'
at this point.
But then again
that’s the point.
No one can be trusted...
I don’t see
an ending here..
Well...
To begin with...
It seems like
There wasn’t
a starting point
either...
So
I am going to do
What
I always do
best
in the finale...
That is
to tell
myself
And
Get the following message
In
My thick skull!

GO WITH THE FLOW!



As they roll down...

As they roll down...
Everything
Seems vague...
Can’t seem to stop...
They keep
rolling down.
So
mind shattering...
That
it feels like
It’s beyond grasp...
Nothing can be done
As
Bits and pieces
are missing...
Flash backs appear
And
Film rolls
Turn in
Circular motions...
It pulls me back...
Like waves
Rolling
in and out...
It jerks
me
From my sleep...
Keeps me
awake
All night...
Forcing me
To
Keep it
alive...
I shut my eyes
tight...
And
Try
to
force it out
Of
My head...
But
It keeps running
back...
Laughing
At me
Each time
With
Vengeance...
That sinister laughter
Turns into
Shrieks
As more of them
roll down…
Whose going
To
Wipe them off...?
Who is going...
To
Be the one…
To notice
that
The strolls
that
drench me
In
The rain
is
meant
To
Hide the tears
That
Roll down my cheeks…
Till then
They will
keep
rolling down...
Just came across
A few scribblings
I did some time
back..
quite recently
actually..
haha..
contradicting
statements
are
common
in life
ya..
all rite..
till the
next blabber session,
adiouz..
=) Take Care (=

=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Tuesday, March 25, 2008
3:44 PM


Recently
Me and My bestie have been
asking friends
random questions
through sms..
haha..
Its fun.really.
oh and really reflecting! =p
I recently forwarded the question.
'tell me one thing you like
and
one thing you dislike about me!',
to a bunch of friends and cousins.
Those whom
I felt were
close enough to tell me
my flaws
straight on my face..
yeah..hehe..
I was more interested
in the dislikes
rather then likes you see
haha..
Well..
I did get back perculiar answers
and some were like,
'hey! You all rite?'
of course, I am..
I wouldn't wanna waste my free messages
for
nothing rite..
As for the feedbacks I got,
some were cute..
some made me raise up an eyebrow
and
some really made me think..
The interesting ones
obviously came from those in my reallly close circle..
'The one thing I like about YOU is YOU
&
The one thing that I don't like about YOU is also YOU!!'
How on earth m I suppose to decode it!?
=p
haha..well..and the other one
came from
one of my guy friends..
his message stated that
I was a wonderful person 'ehem!'
but
that I was too naive
and
that I trust people too much.
Within 10 seconds
I even recieved a call from him
to explain what he meant by that..
haha.
In the end
I ended up explaining
that maybe
he still hasn't see the real me after 2005!
Jokes apart..
well..it was true that
I was naive to a certain extent
till that year..
but darlin
when one goes through
the path of
not only steep and slopes
but
monkeys and crocodilies
as well,
one would forget
the meaning of naive
to
survive till the end..
the other good thing about
this random msg:
I realised that I have actually
changed the opinion of a friend
who used to see me
in a 'different' light..
haha..
Obviously I am in her good books now..
Thank God..
and
as for my bestie,
She was just glad
that the long list
of
I don't likes
that
she gave me two years back
has been converted to ,
' I am glad
&
I just Love how you'v changed today'
haha..
If I ask myself the same question..
True, I love the way
I have transformed..
as for what
I don't like..
I tend to be
unpredictable
at times..
well..
yeah m talking about
my temper..
haha..
It runs in the blood
I guess..
ok..
Two souls out there
will be glaring
at me
if
they happen to read this..
I will make amendments alrite..
Gimme sometime
to count the sheeps
*winx*
Moral of today's post:
Random msges are good for thought!!
=p
=) Take Care (=

=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Tuesday, March 18, 2008
1:17 AM

Warning:
Its all produced by the ‘blabberimania’
formed at midnight.
Might include a bit too much of sentimental blabbers
and
‘angeriazasational’ tormentation..
Haha..
so if you already have tons of things
in your mind
and
don’t wanna be bothered by something else,
please don’t read any further.
Thank you.
Have a good day (“,)


‘It feels like planting the seeds
and
watching them bloom
into beautiful roses
over
a period of time..

You can’t describe them properly
till
you go through the emotions yourself..’

Very true indeed..
Life seems to be going on
despite a torrent of things..

It has tremendously changed..
From attending uncles and aunties wedding ceremonies,
it has now become
cousins wedding and friends wedding..

When people from your inner circle start getting hitched,
that’s where the mental clock strikes..

And the voice in the head goes..
’oh boy..am not getting any younger,m I?’
and the voices around you go.
‘whens urs?’
gosh..just as one of the old joke goes,
can we ask that to the ‘oldies’ in a funeral house?
don’t wanna sound sarcastic here
but really,
when we are pushed to the brim
and
made to look like dolls on show case
that’s what I really feel like..
I wouldn't insult genuine affection..
in fact am willing to explain myself
if those who really care about me
demand an explanation..
but to
add salt to injury
and
play around with words indirectly..
totally pisses me off..
Just because of family circumstances
and
their own personal reasons
one chooses to accept whats given to her,
its not necessary another should be pushed to compromise too..
Anyway, its not about being pushed in with eyes blinded
but
moving in with blessings
and
contentment
and
something beyond a sense of security or trust..
Nothing is be perfect
but
there should be something that at least feels right..
After all
Marriage is not about being
An one day grand gala affair..
Its about waking up with a smile and going to bed laughing..
And
even if you have an argument
the person must be witty enough
to stay up long enough to argue..
hehe…ok back to the point..
It gets especially scary
when your closed one starts reminding you
that your ‘time’ is running out..
Grr..
What am I to do
if you come and tell me
''u better find one before one is found for u…''
As I said am not going to compromise..
I have made my decision and I will jolly well stick by it..
heehee..
and
though you are really trying
your best to convince me darling,
I know you will stick
by my side no matter what..
hehe..
coz we have been through
hell and heaven together,
haven't we?
keke..
Oh and talking abt growing up process..
I was really amused by my niece last week..

It just feels like
she was a few weeks baby
and
everything she did was so amazing..

Her first words..first step..
The first song that she learned to hum..
The first song that we sang together
with her hugging me
and
the first time I brought her to the library in that rain..
haha..
I think the rain must love me a lot
for most of the important
moments of my life
have been
accompanied by the rain drops..
Anyway
I still remember the nights
where I sang lullaby or told bed time stories
to my niece
and
the joy of seeing her
drift to sleep was just heavenly..
and now..haha..
the tables have turned..
this time round
SHE was the one
who made me sleep
by her fabulous bed time story..
really I dint know how..
but
I just drifted off to sleep with her
cuddling by me side,
with of course
the rain splashing
against the window panel
outside..
Needless to say,
I woke up with a smile..

Aging might be shitty at times
coz as some say,
with age comes responsibility
or as how
some others put,
with age comes shit!
Haha..
there are moments where
I really thank god for aging
coz theres when
I had the chance of experiencing certain things
that
I certainly would not have known
if I was a child..
Well.. Am being emotional..
hehe..
\but
serious talks with my bestie
for the past few days
have set me thinking about a lot of stuffs…
have a lot more to write
but
I guess I’ll leave it
for
the future..

Just like the answers to the questions that have been left hanging in the air..
‘ there is a phrase called once upon a time that makes you listen..there is a reason coz it makes you live, laugh and love for the moment.. ‘

=)Take Care(=
To the some one who said what he said
P.s: I warned you, didn’t I..?
It wasn’t discouraging words
but
words that were supposed to save you
from falling deeper..
once again m sorry..


=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Sunday, March 16, 2008
3:30 PM


Amazing Voice...

Couldn't resist compiling them..

All Praises to Him..

One of my all time favorites..

=)Take Care(=

=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Saturday, March 15, 2008
9:49 PM













=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Wednesday, March 12, 2008
2:53 PM

Amnesia

Clive Wearing
Clive Wearing

Clive Wearing has one of the worst cases of amnesia in the world.

A renowned conductor living in London, he was at the peak of his profession when he contracted in virus in 1985.

Clive is now living in a brain injury unit where he has constant supervision.

Clive's descent into brain damage came frighteningly quickly one weekend in March 1985 when he returned home from work looking flushed and feverish.

On Saturday his headaches started.

By Tuesday he was no better and hadn't slept.

His temperature was 102°.

By Wednesday he was very confused and couldn't remember, his wife, Deborah's name.

His temperature was 104°.

Doctors came and went and Deborah left him sleeping, but when
she returned, Clive had disappeared.

Over the next few hours Deborah rang hospitals and police stations across London. Clive eventually turned up.

He had gone out fully dressed with his overcoat and a copy of The Times under his arm, hailed a cab and forgotten where he was going and forgotten where he lived.

The cabbie dropped him at West Hampstead police station where they identified him from his Barclaycard.


Back home 2 doctors visited and concluded that Clive was suffering from a severe bout of flu that was doing the rounds in North London.

His condition worsened and he was rushed to St. Mary's Hospital where doctors realized that Clive's brain was being attacked by the herpes simplex or cold sore virus. Very rarely this virus can cross the blood-brain barrier and cause encephalitis or inflammation of the brain.

The virus had destroyed the hippocampus, and area of the brain crucial for memory and learning leaving him with dense amnesia.

His ability to play music has not been affected, but he is unaware of it. Having just played a beautiful piano piece he is asked about his music playing and he answers:

"I've never heard a note since I've been ill. I don't know what it's like to play music".

The only person he recognises is wife Deborah.

Clive and Deborah
Clive and Deborah before the Illness
He keeps a diary, and has done so for years.
In it he records his, apparently, first moment of wakefulness and lucidity over and over and over again.
As soon as he has recorded this momentous event he has forgotten it.
Even with the diary in front of him, he has forgotten making the entry despite
it facing him
in
black and white.

It is not only memories since the illness that he has lost.

He has no memory of any event in his life, although he can remember key numbers and names from early childhood.

He retains the power of speech and has a good vocabulary so word recall is not a problem.

He can read and write but doesn't remember doing either.

He lives the same moment over and over again, with no awareness or recollection.

It is a living death, Groundhog Day in overdrive, a 20 year tape loop.



Article from:
http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/misc/amnesia.html

=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Monday, March 10, 2008
5:15 PM

Its been a while

since

I did personal blogging..

must say that I didn't wanna blog anything

personal for some time

due to some reasons..

Well..
whats been happening?

Hmm..
I turned 22 last month..
Finished classes officially last month too..
Working on Grad Project now..
really feel like giving up..
thats what I have been feeling like for most of the things recently..
on the verge of just giving up everything..
everything that I have been holding on too..
Seems pointless to be the one
Who seems to make the effort..
oh geez..
Well..
Other then that..
Dad has started
having
zikir @ home
every weekend
once again after a long gap..
Who ever wants to come
and
Join in are most welcome.
Some things have
seem to settle down
after spiraling..
Wish they stay that way
till some one settles down..
Praying hard that
everything goes well for her..
Dear God!
Please knock some sense
into the person
and
keep him on track
for
the sake of
the precious gems..
and
in
two more months
m gonna be a aunt once again..
its going to be
the first baby boy
in
my family..
OH!
hehe..most importantly..
I got a new hp..
lOl..K810i..
'crossing fingers'
that the hp chemistry
will
work out this time round.
Haha..
My 610i really hated me I guess..
Dont luff..
only I know how much it hated me!
hmmfp!
anyway, m gonna make sure my current one loves me!
hmmfp!
hehe.. Alritey..
I better get back to my project work..
tata..
=) take care! (=



=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Wednesday, March 5, 2008
12:03 AM

Need I say more..
=) Take Care (=

=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=

Monday, March 3, 2008
5:55 PM


Dedicated to us..
For all the ups and downs..
The Bumpy road
that
we traveled
together..
For the smiles
We treasure..
and
For the laughter
that we share..
Love you both
for
simply dusting away
my sorrows..
For genuinely
being there..
What is Life
Without
You
both
....
-------------------------------------------------

"After a while
you learn
the subtle difference
between
holding a hand
and
chaining a soul,
and
you learn
that
love doesn't mean leaning
and
company doesn't mean security,
and
you begin to learn
that
kisses aren't contracts
and
presents aren't promises,
and
you begin to accept
your defeats
with
your head up
and
your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult,
not the grief of a child.
You learn
to
build all your roads
on
today
because
tomorrow's ground
is
too uncertain
for plans.
After a while
you learn
that
even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So,
plant your own garden
and
decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting
for
someone to bring
you
flowers.
And
you learn
that
you really can endure...
that
you really are strong,
and
you really do have worth."

=) Take Care (=

=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=