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Seriously..
Life is filled
with mysterious
moments..
what I thought
I knew soo well
till now seems like
something
that I didnt know at all..
WhAt I thought
would never ever occur again
seemed to be occurring..
Seems like a dream
and
yet feels so real..


Are you testing the water
or
have u really been striked by
'amnesia'..
Whatever it is..
the burden is off
my shoulders..
reaally..
and boy!
if you wanna play the game..
two can play it!
Lets see..


The thing that
has been
itching
within..
you have
poured..
Have not..
no use..
have realised
that..
the more I do..
the more I am
gonna be
retaliated at..
nuthings gonna
be gained..
m gonna give us
one more chance..
just one more..
if that goes down
the drain baby..
forget you knew me..
oh yeah and
if u happen to read this
i know wat you gonna say..
the same old thing
that am talking as
if i did nuthin
wrong rite..
let it be that way..
after all
m the same old _ _ _ _ _
who gets mud back
for the sugar
she gives..
oh and m not angry..
really..
just telling myself
what a bugger
I have been..
it helps
you know..
sitting down
and
reflecting..

well..
loneliness = feeling like a orphan at times..
but then am not gonna be ungrateful
to those who had been there for me..
thanks to all..
ALL those who were there for me..
beside or online..
or even with ur souls..
now to think abt it..
you all are really great..
esp those who were there
even when I didn't
ask for it..

To those who know me well..
I am not good with my words..
esp when
it cOmes to putting
it down
OR
saying
it out aloud..
so if there has been
any moment
when I dint sound as
if I meant to..
m sorry..

I seriously
have no more strenght
in me
to retaliate the currents
or explain myself..
phobia to even state
my case..
its me..
all me..
all these
years..
I was nt there for
anyone..
only
they were there
for me..
I dont listen..
I dont care..
m a self centered
selfish brat.

for
those
who are new..
dont
near me..
dont
even
think of me
has someone
whom you wanna know..
coz frankly speaking
I cant handle
another blow..
neither
can I take
another scar..

m used to
pple coming
and
leaving..
You left once..
dont try to come back..

oh and akka..
I am gonna be like this..
no point tryin
to brainwash me..
leave ur worries at the bay..
coz I have left
my soul in my grave..

I ll be here..
only here...
dont expect me
to come
anywhere for anyone..
anymore..
coz
m the
self centered
idiotic
fallen
angel...