Teddys Don't Hug Back.. But Sometimes, Thats All You've Got..
FALLEN ANGEL;
Some day everything will make purfect sense!
So for now,Luff @ the confusion..Smile thru the tears
& Keep Reminding yourself..
That Everything Happens 4 A Reason! :)
My Life's Wonders;
My Ambience.
Photography. :)
Rain.
Babies.
Breeze.
Books.
Papa.
Mama.
Loggie.
Baayi.
Childhood buddies.
Cuzzies.
Editing.
Music.
Dancing.
Choreography.
Eventz Organizing.
Cooking.
Ice Milo.
Indulging in ice cream while walking in the drizzling rain =p
To Be mesmerized into the book world while hugging my soft toys!
Hanging out.
and all the things that helps me improve myself inside out =p
DETESTS;
Change your negatives into positives &
you will see a bright new world..
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Deviantart Brushes & to Nawaz who opened my eyes to the VAST world of BLog Skins =)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
1:28 AM
Trapped
It feels so trapped.. To be lost... To be simply clueless... And yet again... Holding on to the clutches of hope... Yearning For the rays of The delightful sunshine to Fall upon me... Looking forward to the day The darkness would be lifted
and
in its place... How I yearn to see
the aspiring
7 coloured rainbow... What would it be like ...
To be In
the middle of the meadow... To run like
a carefree child... Be free like a butterfly... Yeah...
even
a butterfly
has
its own safety zone
doesn’t it...? Once
in grasp of a human’s hands, It loses its ability To soar up high in the sky.. That’s how
I feel too... The wings are there... And yet... Someone’s holding them... Binding them
so tightly... That it
loses it appeal... To be confined
to
a dark room Is Different
from confining
yourself Within your soul... It gets nerve wrecking When
there’s no one
whom
you can trust... I am suppose to say 'Trust me'
at this point. But then again
that’s the point. No one can be trusted... I don’t see
an ending here.. Well... To begin with... It seems like There wasn’t
a starting point
either... So
I am going to do What
I always do
best
in the finale... That is
to tell
myself And Get the following message In My thick skull!
GO WITH THE FLOW!
As they roll down...
As they roll down... Everything Seems vague... Can’t seem to stop... They keep
rolling down. So
mind shattering... That
it feels like It’s beyond grasp... Nothing can be done As Bits and pieces
are missing... Flash backs appear And Film rolls Turn in Circular motions... It pulls me back... Like waves Rolling
in and out... It jerks
me From my sleep... Keeps me
awake All night... Forcing me To Keep it
alive... I shut my eyes
tight... And Try
to
force it out Of My head... But It keeps running
back... Laughing At me Each time With Vengeance... That sinister laughter Turns into Shrieks As more of them
roll down… Whose going To Wipe them off...? Who is going... To Be the one… To notice
that The strolls
that
drench me In The rain
is
meant To Hide the tears That Roll down my cheeks… Till then They will
keep
rolling down...
Just came across
A few scribblings
I did some time
back..
quite recently
actually..
haha..
contradicting
statements
are
common
in life
ya..
all rite..
till the
next blabber session,
adiouz..
=) Take Care (=
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
3:44 PM
Recently
Me and My bestie have been
asking friends
random questions
through sms..
haha..
Its fun.really.
oh and really reflecting! =p
I recently forwarded the question.
'tell me one thing you like
and
one thing you dislike about me!',
to a bunch of friends and cousins.
Those whom
I felt were
close enough to tell me
my flaws
straight on my face..
yeah..hehe..
I was more interested
in the dislikes
rather then likes you see
haha..
Well..
I did get back perculiar answers
and some were like,
'hey! You all rite?'
of course, I am..
I wouldn't wanna waste my free messages
for
nothing rite..
As for the feedbacks I got,
some were cute..
some made me raise up an eyebrow
and
some really made me think..
The interesting ones
obviously came from those in my reallly close circle..
'The one thing I like about YOU is YOU
&
The one thing that I don't like about YOU is also YOU!!'
How on earth m I suppose to decode it!?
=p
haha..well..and the other one
came from
one of my guy friends..
his message stated that
I was a wonderful person 'ehem!'
but
that I was too naive
and
that I trust people too much.
Within 10 seconds
I even recieved a call from him
to explain what he meant by that..
haha.
In the end
I ended up explaining
that maybe
he still hasn't see the real me after 2005!
Jokes apart..
well..it was true that
I was naive to a certain extent
till that year..
but darlin
when one goes through
the path of
not only steep and slopes
but
monkeys and crocodilies
as well,
one would forget
the meaning of naive
to
survive till the end..
the other good thing about
this random msg:
I realised that I have actually
changed the opinion of a friend
who used to see me
in a 'different' light..
haha..
Obviously I am in her good books now..
Thank God..
and
as for my bestie,
She was just glad
that the long list
of
I don't likes
that
she gave me two years back
has been converted to ,
' I am glad
&
I just Love how you'v changed today'
haha..
If I ask myself the same question..
True, I love the way
I have transformed..
as for what
I don't like..
I tend to be
unpredictable
at times..
well..
yeah m talking about
my temper..
haha..
It runs in the blood
I guess..
ok..
Two souls out there
will be glaring
at me
if
they happen to read this..
I will make amendments alrite..
Gimme sometime
to count the sheeps
*winx*
Moral of today's post:
Random msges are good for thought!!
=p
=) Take Care (=
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
1:17 AM
Warning: Its all produced by the ‘blabberimania’ formed at midnight. Might include a bit too much of sentimental blabbers and ‘angeriazasational’ tormentation.. Haha.. so if you already have tons of things in your mind and don’t wanna be bothered by something else, please don’t read any further. Thank you. Have a good day (“,)
‘It feels like planting the seeds and watching them bloom into beautiful roses over a period of time.. You can’t describe them properly till you go through the emotions yourself..’
Very true indeed.. Life seems to be going on despite a torrent of things.. It has tremendously changed.. From attending uncles and aunties wedding ceremonies, it has now become cousins wedding and friends wedding.. When people from your inner circle start getting hitched, that’s where the mental clock strikes.. And the voice in the head goes.. ’oh boy..am not getting any younger,m I?’ and the voices around you go. ‘whens urs?’ gosh..just as one of the old joke goes, can we ask that to the ‘oldies’ in a funeral house? don’t wanna sound sarcastic here but really, when we are pushed to the brim and made to look like dolls on show case that’s what I really feel like.. I wouldn't insult genuine affection.. in fact am willing to explain myself if those who really care about me demand an explanation.. but to add salt to injury and play around with words indirectly.. totally pisses me off.. Just because of family circumstances and their own personal reasons one chooses to accept whats given to her, its not necessary another should be pushed to compromise too.. Anyway, its not about being pushed in with eyes blinded but moving in with blessings and contentment and something beyond a sense of security or trust.. Nothing is be perfect but there should be something that at least feels right.. After all Marriage is not about being An one day grand gala affair.. Its about waking up with a smile and going to bed laughing.. And even if you have an argument the person must be witty enough to stay up long enough to argue.. hehe…ok back to the point.. It gets especially scary when your closed one starts reminding you that your ‘time’ is running out.. Grr.. What am I to do if you come and tell me ''u better find one before one is found for u…'' As I said am not going to compromise.. I have made my decision and I will jolly well stick by it.. heehee.. and though you are really trying your best to convince me darling, I know you will stick by my side no matter what.. hehe.. coz we have been through hell and heaven together, haven't we? keke.. Oh and talking abt growing up process.. I was really amused by my niece last week.. It just feels like she was a few weeks baby and everything she did was so amazing.. Her first words..first step.. The first song that she learned to hum.. The first song that we sang together with her hugging me and the first time I brought her to the library in that rain.. haha.. I think the rain must love me a lot for most of the important moments of my life have been accompanied by the rain drops.. Anyway I still remember the nights where I sang lullaby or told bed time stories to my niece and the joy of seeing her drift to sleep was just heavenly.. and now..haha.. the tables have turned.. this time round SHE was the one who made me sleep by her fabulous bed time story.. really I dint know how.. but I just drifted off to sleep with her cuddling by me side, with of course the rain splashing against the window panel outside.. Needless to say, I woke up with a smile.. Aging might be shitty at times coz as some say, with age comes responsibility or as how some others put, with age comes shit! Haha.. there are moments where I really thank god for aging coz theres when I had the chance of experiencing certain things that I certainly would not have known if I was a child.. Well.. Am being emotional.. hehe.. \but serious talks with my bestie for the past few days have set me thinking about a lot of stuffs… have a lot more to write but I guess I’ll leave it for the future.. Just like the answers to the questions that have been left hanging in the air.. ‘ there is a phrase called once upon a time that makes you listen..there is a reason coz it makes you live, laugh and love for the moment.. ‘
=)Take Care(= To the some one who said what he said P.s: I warned you, didn’t I..? It wasn’t discouraging words but words that were supposed to save you from falling deeper.. once again m sorry..
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Sunday, March 16, 2008
3:30 PM
Amazing Voice...
Couldn't resist compiling them..
All Praises to Him..
One of my all time favorites..
=)Take Care(=
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Saturday, March 15, 2008
9:49 PM
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
2:53 PM
Amnesia
Clive Wearing
Clive Wearing has one of the worst cases of amnesia in the world.
A renowned conductor living in London, he was at the peak of his profession when he contracted in virus in 1985.
Clive is now living in a brain injury unit where he has constant supervision.
Clive's descent into brain damage came frighteningly quickly one weekend in March 1985 when he returned home from work looking flushed and feverish.
On Saturday his headaches started.
By Tuesday he was no better and hadn't slept.
His temperature was 102°.
By Wednesday he was very confused and couldn't remember, his wife, Deborah's name.
His temperature was 104°.
Doctors came and went and Deborah left him sleeping, but when she returned, Clive had disappeared.
Over the next few hours Deborah rang hospitals and police stations across London. Clive eventually turned up.
He had gone out fully dressed with his overcoat and a copy of The Times under his arm, hailed a cab and forgotten where he was going and forgotten where he lived.
The cabbie dropped him at West Hampstead police station where they identified him from his Barclaycard.
Back home 2 doctors visited and concluded that Clive was suffering from a severe bout of flu that was doing the rounds in North London.
His condition worsened and he was rushed to St. Mary's Hospital where doctors realized that Clive's brain was being attacked by the herpes simplex or cold sore virus. Very rarely this virus can cross the blood-brain barrier and cause encephalitis or inflammation of the brain.
The virus had destroyed the hippocampus, and area of the brain crucial for memory and learning leaving him with dense amnesia.
His ability to play music has not been affected, but he is unaware of it. Having just played a beautiful piano piece he is asked about his music playing and he answers:
"I've never heard a note since I've been ill. I don't know what it's like to play music".
The only person he recognises is wife Deborah.
Clive and Deborah before the Illness He keeps a diary, and has done so for years. In it he records his, apparently, first moment of wakefulness and lucidity over and over and over again. As soon as he has recorded this momentous event he has forgotten it. Even with the diary in front of him, he has forgotten making the entry despite it facing him in black and white.
It is not only memories since the illness that he has lost.
He has no memory of any event in his life, although he can remember key numbers and names from early childhood.
He retains the power of speech and has a good vocabulary so word recall is not a problem.
He can read and write but doesn't remember doing either.
He lives the same moment over and over again, with no awareness or recollection.
It is a living death, Groundhog Day in overdrive, a 20 year tape loop.
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Monday, March 10, 2008
5:15 PM
Its been a while
since
I did personal blogging..
must say that I didn't wanna blog anything
personal for some time
due to some reasons..
Well.. whats been happening?
Hmm.. I turned 22 last month.. Finished classes officially last month too.. Working on Grad Project now.. really feel like giving up.. thats what I have been feeling like for most of the things recently.. on the verge of just giving up everything.. everything that I have been holding on too.. Seems pointless to be the one Who seems to make the effort.. oh geez.. Well.. Other then that.. Dad has started having zikir @ home every weekend once again after a long gap.. Who ever wants to come and Join in are most welcome. Some things have seem to settle down after spiraling.. Wish they stay that way till some one settles down.. Praying hard that everything goes well for her.. Dear God! Please knock some sense into the person and keep him on track for the sake of the precious gems.. and in two more months m gonna be a aunt once again.. its going to be the first baby boy in my family.. OH! hehe..most importantly.. I got a new hp.. lOl..K810i.. 'crossing fingers' that the hp chemistry will work out this time round. Haha.. My 610i really hated me I guess.. Dont luff.. only I know how much it hated me! hmmfp! anyway, m gonna make sure my current one loves me! hmmfp! hehe.. Alritey.. I better get back to my project work.. tata.. =) take care! (=
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
12:03 AM
Need I say more.. =) Take Care (=
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
Monday, March 3, 2008
5:55 PM
Dedicated to us.. For all the ups and downs.. The Bumpy road that we traveled together.. For the smiles We treasure.. and For the laughter that we share.. Love you both for simply dusting away my sorrows.. For genuinely being there.. What is Life Without You both .... -------------------------------------------------
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth."
=) Take Care (=
=)Expect The Unexpected(=Reality Vs Dream =)Take Care(=
My Soul-EthaNia-:D
Need I say more..
=) Take Care (=