Plurk.com

Whenever she comes into blog about something..

She leaves as speedy as she came in..

The mind is just clogged up with thoughts.

She was extremely busy with

the birthday bash and a few other stuff..

The birthday bash ended successfully

(alhamdulilah!)

and then suddenly life seems empty..

Maybe she should just start an events company and keep herself

busy throughout the year..

Its gonna be a year and it seems like

the year as flew by

with so much of incidents

wheezing past..

SO MUCH..

and yet

it feels empty..

very empty..

Nothing is permanent..

Nothing seems the way we want it to be..

How on earth

is She to trust and

ASK....

She feels redundent asking about the same

stuffs when nothing seems to be happening,,

naybe its just taking some time..

but then..

As she thinks,

Maybe it will never happen..

Maybe itsfatedto bethis way....

And as per normal,

She now as the urge to run away.

and she is..

Wants to migrate..

Really..

At least go away

for a few years..

Its getting too

'UGLY'

In here..

Am utterly

DISGUSTED

by

most of them around me..

Seriously..

I feel like bathing for years

to just wash off the blood..

I dont want the

same trace as

'YOU'..

I rather be

Somewhere..

Where

no one knows

me..

Me just be ME..

I really wanna do it..

Have started sourcing around

for overseas ventures..

Maybe next year..

After march end..

INSHA ALLAH..

As fast as it started..

It ended.

Am glad..

God showed the signs

as fast as he could..

& Now

the waiting continues..

Or rather..

The going with the flow continues..

But

Just maybe..

Its gonna be real hard..

For the real ONE..

To proof

that he's the one..

Coz as each cloud passes by..

The colours of the rainbow seem to fade away..

She Has a Life of Her Own -- and It's Pretty Good to Boot
Ladies, this means that

• you take care of yourself,


• pay attention to your personal style


• and find time to hang with your fabulous friends and family.


• You seek adventure by traveling.


• And you take in life's pleasures.

From indulging in dessert to walking through the park on a sunny day.
"You don't expect your boyfriend to be your entire existence," says Daily.
In other words, you're not waiting for some man to show up,
so you can get your "real life" started.
You already have your fabulous life rolling ahead
and you sould make him
yearn to be a part of it,
So that he can have a blast too!!

As the days are passing by..

She's yearning more and more for it..

Will she ever have a family called her own..

Would there be anyone who

walks into her life..

and make that candle burn bright

and make sure that it doesn't go off in

a breath..

I am yet to see..

I am yet to feel..

But deep down somewhere

She has a desire

burning

bright..loud..

The echoes that scream

..

They keep screaming..

coz they have not been rescued..

1000 souls caged together..

all desparately wanting to get out..

When and how..?

gosh..

this silence is killing her..

She is paranoid of long waits..

silence\

and surprises..

If at all there's one in the first place..

Speaking to a few people..

She realized that shes not a loner..

She is going through similar tragedies as others..

but then again

at this very minute..

in her world..

she is the one all alone..

All Alone together with others..

Feeling super shagged..tired and lonely..

But laughing..smiling

and being happy

has turned into her permanent mask..

or maybe a facade..

She is living a life filled with 'maybes' at the moment..

Nothing.

Except.

Changes.

Are.

Consistant.

They.

Say.

Its the day tmr..

Hari Raya Puasa..

The first Eve..

That She will be spending alone..

The first raya

that gonna be spent away

from the norm..

She doesn't wanna even give it a try

this time round..

She needs the guarentee..

The support..

உறவுகள் தொடர்கதை...

உணர்வுகள் சிறுகதை..

ஒரு கதை என்றும் முடியலாம்..

முடிவிலும் ஒன்று தொடரலாம்..

இனியெல்லாம் சுகமே..

உன் கண்களில் ஓரம்

எதற்காகவு ஈரம்..

கண்ணீரை நான் மாற்றுவேன்..

She's just waiting for the right person

to sing these lines to her..

People may think.

her heart has turn into stone..

No one knew

what sleeping beauty went through

when she was in deep sleep..

She's not a fictional character

but HUMAN..

Skin..feelings..emotion..

all bundled..jumbled up..

Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel

is peeking in..

Is it gonna play peek a boo with her

or rise like the sun does in the morning fully..

Got to wait and see..

Standing in a third party shoe..

She looks perfectly happy and normal..

But deep down her..

Its just shattered..

It will definitely take time to sort the pieces out..

and leave behind what happen..

but to pick up the left overs and move on..

She needs that extra pair of hands..

or maybe not..

coz what if ALL happens to be just illusions..

AS IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN..

This time round.

She's just gonna sit back

and watch the show unfold..

IF ITS MEANT TO BE..

THEN ITS MEANT TO BE..

Another addition to the family..

Another baby boy..

Rabbit year..

and

Allah is bestowing so many blessings..

and yet theres this void..

for her..

Well..

She's truly happy for them..

A true miracle is born

each time a baby is born..

Will she be as blessed as them..

The question will linger

at the back of her mind..

Till She gets the answer

in har hands..

and she is still contemplating..
She did feel comfortable..
but other thoughts are holding her back..
It should be for her.
and not caused of influence yet..

There are times

When I would be thinking..

All that is happening

are mere

DREAMS..

But then..

Something would happen

to make me

realise

that its

HARSH REALITY..

Gosh..

Am walking around

wishing hard

That this might be a dream..

Coz even after knowing

my expectations..

They are still trying to impose

it on me..

Well I shouldn't be surprised..

Coz

whatever they have done,

Its what they want

&

Not

What I want..

&

They will label it

as

whats GOOD for me!!

But then

At the end of the day,

Its me and my decision..

The fact that they

think all these minute staff

can pull me back

puts me on the edge..

WTH..

Its

my Life,

and

Its about

how am

gonna live

with it..

&

Am

Pretty

Adamant

In this Issue..

Its gonna be

MY WAY

OR NO WAY!!

For the stranger who is

gonna walk in into the mess,

ALL THE BEST!

;)

A Few Extracts From The Book

That am reading now...

"Daddy's Little Earner"

A

Heartbreaking

True Story

of

A brave Little Girl's

Escape From Violence.

Maria Landon

Sunday Times BestSeller!

" But these punishments & humiliations would have been bearable if that was all he had done to us. I could have found excuses & forgiven him for all of them if it wasn't for what he started to do to me next."

"All mothers love their first sons & all daddies love their little girls,'' he would say, as if merely saying it was enough to prove it.

" I used to have a recurring nightmare during the years we lived with dad. I would feel like I was caught in the centre of a spiral of colourful circles.As the spiral gathered speed I would feel trapped, falling faster and depper into nothingness.Certain that if I dont get out I was going to die.''

"One of the things that Dad likes us to do was read the evening paper to him each day when he got back from the pub because he couldn't do it himself...Believe it or not, that was how the next level of abuse started, with me reading to my father....''

"Do you want a lollipop? Yes please Daddy,I replied eagerly. As he took my hand and marched me upstairs I felt confused. Surely There wasn't any lollipops up there and I hadn't heard the ice cream van in the street outside. My heart sank as he gave me a magazine and lay down on the bed.."

" The moment you were born you were his, mom once told me.."

''Right from the start..He used to joke That he would make the best little prostitute in the block.."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its heartwrenching to read each line in the book..

Devasting to know what one can do to his own kin..

Humans..

can even be more terrifying then animals..

"