Fallen Angel's Entity

2012-01-28T14:34:00.002+08:00

Its been some time since she got in here..

but then she doesant have the urge to blog as much as before..

Maybe putting down them into words

makes reality appear harsher..

Life..Random..Weird and full of philosophies..

Full of swirls and shadows..

But then do you have the ability to stop living as and start back as and when you wish..?

Life..full of questions and never ending puzzles..

She is just full of mixed feelings..

one minute full of glee..

the next filled with loneliness..

Life seems redundant.

Nothing much to expect but then

theres sometheres theres lurking out there..

Kinda mystry..

lol..

blabbering as usual..

wonder when will it ever stop..

Rambles of ramblings..

adious..

2012-01-09T11:55:00.003+08:00

As usual..

Life is swirling..

It's yet another

NEW YEAR..

NEWNESS..

May not

maybe

YES..

Shes got no freaking IDEA!

but its simply

irritating her to the core

that life seems super

BORING

as it is now..

Of course

her NEW year count down party

and the BBQ party following that

was great..

No two doubt abt that..

But,

SOMETHING

has been nagging

her throughout..

Things have been swirling, shapelifting..

changing..

and its Not her..

But its all around her...

What was supposed to

be hers

is now somebody else..

She didnt want it..

but its just weird

how things are revolving..

and all these butterflies

thats been catching her eyes..

Suddenly all around her..

Just feels strange..

Wants to watch fairytale stories..

AS USUAL

theres where she buries herself deep down..

and then

the count down to an ultimate change is nearing..

It seems like the right thing to do

and yet it seems difficult to do..

May be shes just paranoid if she can cope..

BUT SHE HAS TOO..

COZ SHE WANTS TOO..

TRUST IN GOD

AND

HE BRINGS THE WORLD TO YOU..

ALRIGHT

THE flu bug is irritating me..

I better go..

BYe peeps..

Lets see if She has anything life changing to

talk about in the next post..

ADIOUS..

2011-12-28T09:19:00.003+08:00

அவன் அவனுக்கு அவன் அவன் கவலை..

வர வர என்ன நடக்குதுன்னு புரியவே மாட்டிங்குது..

சொல்றது ஒன்னு..செய்யறது ஒன்னு..

இப்படின்னா யாரை நம்பறது..

எப்படி மனுஷன் நிம்மதியா வாழ முடியும்..

வேண்டாம்ன்னு சொல்றவாங்க எல்லாம்

முதல் ஆளா காரியத்தை முடிச்சுட்டு வந்து நிக்குறாங்க..

கேட்ட சந்தரப்ப சூழ்நிலை அப்படிங்குறாங்க..

கடவுளே..எது உண்மை..

வெளுத்ததெல்லாம் பாலுன்னு நம்பினது என்குற்றமா..

நடத்து..நீ எப்ப கிட்ட கேள்விக்கு பதில் உடனே கொடுத்தே..

எல்லாம் தள்ளி தள்ளி தானே வரும்..

புலம்பவாவது சுதந்திரம் இருக்கே..

2011-12-13T09:02:00.002+08:00

பிறை தேடும் உலகிலே

எதை தேடி அலைகிறாய் ..

கதை சொல்ல அழைக்கிறேன்..

அன்பே நீ வா..

Something about those lines..

Amazes her..

Touches her soul..

brings her to another world..

She doesn't know

if anything is gonna

happen

or if life would remain as it is..

But theres

a tiny flame

flickering

deep down..

Yearning

for things

that she has

been denying...

Feeling foolish

at times

Doesn't seem to help..

But

then again,

feelings

themself

dont help much..

Distractions

and

more distractions..

Endurance

and tolerance..

What else

can She do..

Trapped in cob web..

Life seems tangled..

Everytime she tells herself

its nothing..

Somethings

seems to crop up..

Pouring

oil into

the flicker..

Making her

'feel'..

Wasn't she supposed to be immune..

It may be

NORMAL

for them..

Is She

ABnormal

then..

Questions..

Forever and

Always..

Alone together

didnt seem to work..

Hiaz..

No one understands..

and

She's

'no-one'

to all the rest too..

MAybe..

Smiles..

Laughters..

All facades..

Two months time..

26..

& yet..

NOT THERE..

Close..?

Not sure..

Nothing much..

No pain

and No gain..

She just wants to go away..

Far Far away..

If Possible

Another

PLANET..

POSSIBLE..?

2011-11-28T16:27:00.002+08:00

Whenever she comes into blog about something..

She leaves as speedy as she came in..

The mind is just clogged up with thoughts.

She was extremely busy with

the birthday bash and a few other stuff..

The birthday bash ended successfully

(alhamdulilah!)

and then suddenly life seems empty..

Maybe she should just start an events company and keep herself

busy throughout the year..

Its gonna be a year and it seems like

the year as flew by

with so much of incidents

wheezing past..

SO MUCH..

and yet

it feels empty..

very empty..

Nothing is permanent..

Nothing seems the way we want it to be..

How on earth

is She to trust and

ASK....

She feels redundent asking about the same

stuffs when nothing seems to be happening,,

naybe its just taking some time..

but then..

As she thinks,

Maybe it will never happen..

Maybe itsfatedto bethis way....

And as per normal,

She now as the urge to run away.

and she is..

2011-10-20T13:33:00.002+08:00

Wants to migrate..

Really..

At least go away

for a few years..

Its getting too

'UGLY'

In here..

Am utterly

DISGUSTED

most of them around me..

Seriously..

I feel like bathing for years

to just wash off the blood..

I dont want the

same trace as

'YOU'..

I rather be

Somewhere..

Where

no one knows

me..

Me just be ME..

I really wanna do it..

Have started sourcing around

for overseas ventures..

Maybe next year..

After march end..

INSHA ALLAH..

2011-09-18T22:00:00.003+08:00

As fast as it started..

It ended.

Am glad..

God showed the signs

as fast as he could..

& Now

the waiting continues..

Or rather..

The going with the flow continues..

But

Just maybe..

Its gonna be real hard..

For the real ONE..

To proof

that he's the one..

Coz as each cloud passes by..

The colours of the rainbow seem to fade away..

2011-09-06T11:14:00.002+08:00

Random

doing

Random Stuff again..

BUT this time round..

It might end up to be serious stuff..

AT least for her

I hope it really works out!!

They would look cute together!!

hahaha..I know she would be grinning now too..

But why is all these happening suddenly...

Hmm well could be two ways..

One, if its meant to be, then

THIS is the meant to be scenario..

So its happening..

Maybe GOD wants us to meet a few people

before FINALLY meeting THE one.

hahaha..

Well am not really letting it sink in now..

Even tho what I heard is quite rare for a guy to say.

Am not gonna really take it in,

till I see 'results' after next week...

We shall see..

How far

this random 'action plan and executive' stuff is gonna work..

hahah..oh ya and

Loggie am laughing too

whenever I think

abt it..

;)

2011-09-02T09:16:00.003+08:00

Be Dazzling..

Out of the zillions of women out there,

how do guys choose the one for them.

Alot of times we go accusing each other

that we dont understand

how complicated

the other gender is..

But do we take time

to make ourself look

near to perfect

if not

'perfectly perfect!!'

Lets take a look at

what a few websites

said:

She Has a Life of Her Own -- and It's Pretty Good to Boot
Ladies, this means that

you take care of yourself,

pay attention to your personal style

and find time to hang with your fabulous friends and family.

You seek adventure by traveling.

And you take in life's pleasures.

From indulging in dessert to walking through the park on a sunny day.
"You don't expect your boyfriend to be your entire existence," says Daily.
In other words, you're not waiting for some man to show up,
so you can get your "real life" started.
You already have your fabulous life rolling ahead
and you sould make him
yearn to be a part of it,
So that he can have a blast too!!

She Never Makes the First Move

This issue has been debated to death,

and there is no true consensus.

But Daily says that she strongly believes

women should never, ever pursue a man.

Instead, she suggests waiting for the man

to initiate and plan dates.

Reason being: If the woman is always the one calling,

she will never know if was interested in her

or if it's just convenient for him.

She may find herself questioning the relationship

every step of the way.

Men simply aren't programmed to think

like that and therefore are better suited to the chase.

She is Sexy Without Being Trampy

This means something different

at the beginning of the relationship

than it does down the road.

In the beginning of courtship,

a woman should refrain from making any comments

that are overtly sexual.

She also flirts by using nonsexual touch

like placing her hand on his forearm

or even the knee but only briefly.

When the relationship gets more serious,

and presumably more intimate,

sexual touch and public displays of affection

are more appropriate.

At this point,

it's okay to play footsie under the table.

But pls do avoid the MRT scenarios

coz its just too intolerable!

She Does Little Things to Show

like making his favorite drink ready when

he comes by.

Cooking his favortie dish..

We all know that the best way to get

a man's heart is through his tummy

or so they say.

Putting lil notes on his car, pocket

or setting his hp alarm for him.

Its the minute details that make the big picture

amazing..

The bottom line is that you should want to do the little things

that let him know you care and you are paying attention to his individual needs.

And he should do the same for you.

She Does Not Take Any Crap

A good woman never accepts bad behavior.

Guys respect women with whom they can't get away with anything.

If he knows there's a penalty -- like getting thrown to the curb --

for a serious violation like cheating,

he'll respect you more, and

he will be far less likely to do it.

You should also never even bother to date married men,

those who already have girlfriends

or anyone who verbally or physically

threatens or abuses you. Period.

You are unique in your own way

and you don't have to be

a substitute for anyone.

Never compromise

life

as You are only gonna live it

once!

A Good Woman Always Chooses a Good Man
That means that you should look for someone

who is honest and dependable

responsible!

He has to treat you right.

If he says he is going to be somewhere, he is there.

Chivalry is not dead, by the way.

"Good manners are a deeper window into what kind of man he truly is''

You should also have compatible views on money

(which is the number one thing couples fight about).

Even though they say opposites attract,

savers should think twice before shacking up with wild spenders.

She

Knows

That

Love

is the

Biggest

Part

of the

Mating

Equation

Just how does a good woman know that

she has found that crazy-for-you, toe-curling relationship?

Daily says that some women have an "a-ha" moment,

while love simply sneaks up on the rest.

"I believe the feeling includes

a unique sense of comfort

and acceptance and

the feeling that someone else's

happiness is

as important to you

as your own,"

"A certain amount of toe

curling is key as well.

2011-09-01T11:51:00.002+08:00

As the days are passing by..

She's yearning more and more for it..

Will she ever have a family called her own..

Would there be anyone who

walks into her life..

and make that candle burn bright

and make sure that it doesn't go off in

a breath..

I am yet to see..

I am yet to feel..

But deep down somewhere

She has a desire

burning

bright..loud..

The echoes that scream

They keep screaming..

coz they have not been rescued..

1000 souls caged together..

all desparately wanting to get out..

When and how..?

gosh..

this silence is killing her..

She is paranoid of long waits..

silence\

and surprises..

If at all there's one in the first place..

Speaking to a few people..

She realized that shes not a loner..

She is going through similar tragedies as others..

but then again

at this very minute..

in her world..

she is the one all alone..

All Alone together with others..

Feeling super shagged..tired and lonely..

But laughing..smiling

and being happy

has turned into her permanent mask..

or maybe a facade..

She is living a life filled with 'maybes' at the moment..

Nothing.

Except.

Changes.

Are.

Consistant.

They.

Say.

2011-08-29T09:48:00.002+08:00

Its the day tmr..

Hari Raya Puasa..

The first Eve..

That She will be spending alone..

The first raya

that gonna be spent away

from the norm..

She doesn't wanna even give it a try

this time round..

She needs the guarentee..

The support..

உறவுகள் தொடர்கதை...

உணர்வுகள் சிறுகதை..

ஒரு கதை என்றும் முடியலாம்..

முடிவிலும் ஒன்று தொடரலாம்..

இனியெல்லாம் சுகமே..

உன் கண்களில் ஓரம்

எதற்காகவு ஈரம்..

கண்ணீரை நான் மாற்றுவேன்..

She's just waiting for the right person

to sing these lines to her..

People may think.

her heart has turn into stone..

No one knew

what sleeping beauty went through

when she was in deep sleep..

She's not a fictional character

but HUMAN..

Skin..feelings..emotion..

all bundled..jumbled up..

Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel

is peeking in..

Is it gonna play peek a boo with her

or rise like the sun does in the morning fully..

Got to wait and see..

Standing in a third party shoe..

She looks perfectly happy and normal..

But deep down her..

Its just shattered..

It will definitely take time to sort the pieces out..

and leave behind what happen..

but to pick up the left overs and move on..

She needs that extra pair of hands..

or maybe not..

coz what if ALL happens to be just illusions..

AS IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN..

This time round.

She's just gonna sit back

and watch the show unfold..

IF ITS MEANT TO BE..

THEN ITS MEANT TO BE..

2011-08-22T14:25:00.001+08:00

Another addition to the family..

Another baby boy..

Rabbit year..

and

Allah is bestowing so many blessings..

and yet theres this void..

for her..

Well..

She's truly happy for them..

A true miracle is born

each time a baby is born..

Will she be as blessed as them..

The question will linger

at the back of her mind..

Till She gets the answer

in har hands..

2011-08-15T16:42:00.001+08:00

You will be allright..

Both of you..

My prayers and My hugs..

2011-08-15T16:27:00.002+08:00

What is she doing..

Whats happening around her..

Well..

Only trust is making her go on..

Whatever thats been taken away from her

will be replaced by the best of the best..

And whatever's happening

is only coz the path to a better way is being carved..

and she is still contemplating..
She did feel comfortable..
but other thoughts are holding her back..
It should be for her.
and not caused of influence yet..

Coz at the end of the day..

She really does'nt wanna let it go

like she did last time..

Coz this time round..

She wants to fall in love with it..

Truly..Madly..Wholely..

2011-08-08T16:24:00.003+08:00

Its the 8th day of the Fasting month, Ramadan..

and its been 14 years since 'it' happened..

haha The day where I took part as a gypsy in the school's

fancy dress competition and came home looking like a bride..

Only to realise something wasn't gonna be the same anymore..

haha..Time..Just flew by..

darn wish I cld go back to childhood..

Actually nowadays m wishing

I could forward the time

and go to the future..

It would be so Easy

if I can see the future now..

And console myself..

Thought I had learnt to control

My temper when All it took

was a msg and a phone call..

I bursted..It was too much for me to digest..

ALL I need now

is someone to understand everything..

and withought any question or debate

accept my situation

as it is..

Too Difficult..Too complicated..

Only Time Will Tell..

2011-07-04T11:05:00.003+08:00

There are times

When I would be thinking..

All that is happening

are mere

DREAMS..

But then..

Something would happen

to make me

realise

that its

HARSH REALITY..

Gosh..

Am walking around

wishing hard

That this might be a dream..

Coz even after knowing

my expectations..

They are still trying to impose

it on me..

Well I shouldn't be surprised..

Coz

whatever they have done,

Its what they want

Not

What I want..

They will label it

whats GOOD for me!!

But then

At the end of the day,

Its me and my decision..

The fact that they

think all these minute staff

can pull me back

puts me on the edge..

WTH..

Its

my Life,

and

Its about

how am

gonna live

with it..

Pretty

Adamant

In this Issue..

Its gonna be

MY WAY

OR NO WAY!!

For the stranger who is

gonna walk in into the mess,

ALL THE BEST!

;)

FW: One Mum's Imagination...

2011-07-03T16:01:00.001+08:00

Mother..

An Imaginary world

starts to

visualize the moment

the baby moves in home

in the womb..

and here

is one mom's

portrayal of her imagination!

This little girl and her mother are from Helsinki, Finland.
While her daughter is soundly asleep, she creates a completely different world around her!

That's how both of them became really famous. What a truly fabulous imagination!

Privileged/Confidential information may be contained in this message. If you are not the intended recipient, you must not copy, distribute or use it for any purpose, nor disclose its contents to any other person. Please notify the sender immediately if you receive this in error.

Visit our website at http://www.hdb.gov.sg/

==============================================================================
Please access the attached hyperlink for an important electronic communications disclaimer:
http://www.credit-suisse.com/legal/en/disclaimer_email_ib.html
==============================================================================

2011-06-14T09:24:00.001+08:00

After nearly 6 months

I spoke to her again..

For Good or Bad..

Only GOD knows..

And

I think

SHE misses her

MORE then I DO..

Wait Do I miss her at all..?

I am not sure..

THats how stone hearted I feel..

The incident has left a very

bad burning scar in me..

Not sure

If I can trust anyone to that extend anymore..

and I certainly cant be like how I used to be before

IF I EVER GO BACK

WHICH I DON'T WANT TOO..

LEAVE ME ALONE..

Is all am asking..

TOO MUCH RIGHT..

Heck it..

Seriously..

I have learnt to be independant..

and this is how I wanna be now..

I do know if the way

I talk is not at all flowery nice and sweet to listen.

But Babe, This is what you have showed me..

You two made me grow up in

the path filled with rocks steeps and stones..

and I was certainly treated like

a prized possesion..

Now that am gone,

All you ever do is complaint,

Whine and Throw the blame on others!

GROW UP.

NOT THAT I CARE..

HMM..Although I may sound furious..

Am actually quite cool at the moment..

More to sleepy actually..

Really..

Nowadays no matter how much I sleep,

Am still sleepy and tired.

and My muscles seem to have a will on their own..

Like losing control of my hp,

plastic bags and GOD KNOWS WHAT..

When am extremely sleepy..

Like a few people said..

Maybe its just all the stuff

that has been

cramming itself

into my head..

I am puzzled on

how to let go..

Anyways..

Its been an adorable two plus months

watching Ashiq grow..

Sweetie pie is super duper active and growing up fast

into a handsome hunk!

haha, Worries fly away when I see him

and cuddle him..

Theres some sort of a comfort warmth in the way a child holds on

to your fingers and cuddles against you when they wanna sleep..

It nice..what else can I say but THANK GOD.. =)

And then finally a trip is mterialising btw the besties..

This weekend..

After so many changes,

Finally We are heading for a vacation..

I have been there a couple of times

but since its the first time

am heading out with my bestie,

I shall not complain..

So its gonna be me, her, Mubee darling and Valli ma..

lol I for see a lot of overseas trips =)

Insha Allah,

Next month on the 23, I am heading to penang with my uncles and aunties and cousins.

Its gonna be fun fun and FUN!!

Then ANother big INSHA ALLAH,

We are planning to go on another trip to India

this coming December. =)

Hopefully All Izz Well! =)

I am just amazed at myself

How

Long I Can keep On Writing!

Haha..

I better go now,

I have got a group of kids

coming to the gym at abt

10am.

So Take care All!

Tata!!

2011-06-08T09:43:00.002+08:00

A Few Extracts From The Book

That am reading now...

"Daddy's Little Earner"

Heartbreaking

True Story

A brave Little Girl's

Escape From Violence.

Maria Landon

Sunday Times BestSeller!

" But these punishments & humiliations would have been bearable if that was all he had done to us. I could have found excuses & forgiven him for all of them if it wasn't for what he started to do to me next."

"All mothers love their first sons & all daddies love their little girls,'' he would say, as if merely saying it was enough to prove it.

" I used to have a recurring nightmare during the years we lived with dad. I would feel like I was caught in the centre of a spiral of colourful circles.As the spiral gathered speed I would feel trapped, falling faster and depper into nothingness.Certain that if I dont get out I was going to die.''

"One of the things that Dad likes us to do was read the evening paper to him each day when he got back from the pub because he couldn't do it himself...Believe it or not, that was how the next level of abuse started, with me reading to my father....''

"Do you want a lollipop? Yes please Daddy,I replied eagerly. As he took my hand and marched me upstairs I felt confused. Surely There wasn't any lollipops up there and I hadn't heard the ice cream van in the street outside. My heart sank as he gave me a magazine and lay down on the bed.."

" The moment you were born you were his, mom once told me.."

''Right from the start..He used to joke That he would make the best little prostitute in the block.."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its heartwrenching to read each line in the book..

Devasting to know what one can do to his own kin..

Humans..

can even be more terrifying then animals..

2011-05-30T09:51:00.002+08:00

Secret..

To be treasured..Hidden.

and saved as a confidential matter..

But when it gets shared..

Is it known as a secret anymore..?

Hmm..

Swirls of questions has been

going through my mind..

Constant changes

has been making people

walk in and out of my life..

To the extend that

most of them

are just a passing cloud..

Wonder what ALLAH has in mind

to put me through..

The end of the tunnel

seems to be forever..

Well maybe it is forever..

Nowadays withought reasons,

My eyes have been tearing..

Have been gulping for air

as this heavy burden sinks in slowly..

Taking over the body and mind..

But..Reasons..

I dont know..

It feels like

being thrown in the sea..

Tied to a rock..

When People ask me

All I can say is..

I am clueless myself..

and yet

how am I to answer your questions..

==============================

Yet another new venue..

New faces..

But they seem more cheerful..

Bright..

and friendly..

Hopefully

All goes well..

-----------------------------------

The holiday trip in June

has gone 'POOF'.

As usual.

The things that I want badly

always 'or almost always' doesn't happen..

Hiaz..

No Comments..

--------------------------------------------------

Tho nothing major is happening.

I always feel like

walking on the thread..

And Its

As If Someone is watching me

All The Time..

Maybe its where I come from..

Too High, you fall and break your neck..

Too Low,

SHIT falls!

duh..

----------------------------------------------------------

AM Running out of things to say..

But the burden in me wanna burst out into thousand of things..

Have been controlling..Contemplating..

Maybe I need to make that walk down to the beach

and have that one to one personal session with myself

and cry my eyes out!

Hmm...

and The next things on my List

is that CAMERA & Laptop!

Hopefully a Macbook!

Lets see how things go..

I may have been repeating this..

But seriously

Going with the flow at times..

Is DEFINITELY NOT FUN!

..Okie..I ll come back someother time..

=================================

2011-05-15T14:28:00.000+08:00

“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

-Rosemary Urquico

2011-05-05T14:53:00.003+08:00

I was feeling enraged..

But it has become to a point

where am getting

totally numb to all kind of remarks..

Human beings..

So easily

'BRAIN= WASHABLE'

In other words

FICKLE minded!!

Darn, if you can't stick to your decision

then dont make one in the first place!

Simple rite!

Cat got you tongue?!!

Wth!

You go on talking as if its your life!

BOY, Its MINE!

Just because you wanna escape

the situation

dont go making your own decisions!

coz I am saying it again!

BLOODY HELL!

ITS MYYYY LIFE!

and Another gentle

reminder

that we are not in

the 1960s era!

I am not going to sit there

like a mannequine

while some stranger comes

and views me!

u think u'l like it if

I do that to you!!!!

Get a life!

All I wanna do now is move on..

A space called my own.

Too much to ask!

well maybe I did ask too much

when I thought

I wanted at least this event

to be a happy one,

but seems like

you are not fated too.

FINE.

SO BE IT!

I l find my own

or rather

if there is someone out there

for me

He will find me on his own

and then

We will see.

Thanks for letting me feel

as if

all you wanna do

is chuck me one corner

and forget all about me!

Responsibilty and you can hike up the hill!

and roll down like humpty dumpty did!

gosh..

Thank god for my darlings!

you all know who you are..

Thanks for standing by my side

and accepting me for who I am

and Where I come from...

Pls dont change your minds too k..

haha or else

I would have to go in search of walls.

to bang my head!

hahaha..

On a 'lighter' note..

Baayi is flying off today..

GOD Knows when he is gonna come back..

For now..

I know am already missing him..

but m trying not to think about it too much..

Later when the besties are on their way back

after sending him off..

then we will know..

classic reactions will come pouring out I guess..
or maybe not..

Lets see..

Adious Amigo..

2011-04-29T12:17:00.002+08:00

Its somewhere around end april..

And the buzz about many virgin voters

is ringing everywhere..

For me I would nt have really cared if it was years back..

But After splashing into the journalism world

for some time

I was forced to learn ministers names,

what they do

and where they stand in!

All the walk abouts with the ministers

that I had,

The one to one interviews..

Hearing heart landers talk about them

and how they react in public

has definitely given me

a hint of politics.

But I still would say

Politics is not my cup of tea..

of coffee rather,

haha..

I have always preferred

to speak with random people,

students or mingle with a family

that was getting some neighbourhood award..

lol.

It always gave me the warm feeling to be sitting amidst them

and feel bonded for the time that I had to interview that

and get the gist to write in the two or three column that would be allocated to me..

I always felt that the space was not for me to outshine my name

but a space given to them to say it out loud to the public..

I always went out telling myself

not two days are the same and everyone was

a lesson walking around for me to

read, reflect and share it with others.

and thats how I have always approached them,

Being born in a staunch muslim family,

Initially when I was told to go to temples, churches etc,

my parents gave me a raised eyebrow.

But being a journalist

I embraced it and

looked forward to

a vibrant culture rich day filled with knowledge.

and thats what I always got.

people accepted me for the smile that I gave them

and I accepted them

for letting me know the simple essence of life..

Now as I have stepped out for a breather for a while,

each interview sessions for each articles I have written

seem to come across as a flash before my eyes.

It taught me that that I am unique..Just like everyone else..

Those who had the glitter of hope in their eyes and

smile on their faces despite the difficulty in life.

Those crossed milestones despite physical challenges.

Those who got second chances.

Those who didnt regret

the mistakes

but took it as a challenge to survive and be a better individual..

Even those negative vibe ones..

How a family background if not good

could spoil an entire life..

and so on..

Suddenly am feeling it all running in fron t of my eyes..

I am thankful to GOD

for all the days spent knowing people

who shared their innermost secrets with me..

I really hope that I have delivered to the society

what they could sieve out as diamonds

and throw away the rocks..

It was indeed a heavy responsibility

and It took me all this hustle bustle political

topics around me to give this emo journal!

hahaha..

well well tho I had left the field for 1000 other reasons,

I have got the spark in me

that I will definitely continue to

contribute in the way that I have always wanted

soon.

INSHA ALLAH =)

2011-04-28T16:55:00.003+08:00

Especially for you,

Whoever you are,

Whereever you are..

If you are thinking

its sealed and waiting for you,

Remember TAGS tend to wear off.

;)

All that talk about

'if it was just like that(as it is now)

it would be just so perfect!'

But then..

Not everything

that seems suitable

fits into our life eh..?

Dunno if I should laugh or cry..

Hmm maybe thats how its supposed to be.

U know, the line that people often use:

Maybe GOD wants you to

a few wrong people before

you finally meet your right one

seems abit altered in my case!

haha maybe

GOD wants me to meet

a few right ones so that

When The bell music strikes at the back of my head,

he may not only be the right guy but the 'perfect' guy for me!

haha but will I be his 'perfecto' lady?

Thats a question that only

Mr.Ajnabi can answer..

Am seeing a few strange

characters in my life

who seem to be

full of praises..

Ironic..

Years back..

All I got was raised eyebrows..

and what one guy in secondary school

said still keeps ringing in my head..

Guys, if you think a gal is not up

to your so called beautified expressions,

just keep the darn remarks to yourself!

U may never know

what she might blossom into years later

and you wouldnt wanna be

hanging your head down then right?

So be good!

haha..

well so many incidents

pushed me to my brim..

And worst of all,

everything came to me and

then was just snatched away..

Just when I was thinking

how unfair life can be..

beautiful things occurred..

Was just like a butterfly in a garden..

But that too tarnished when

someone grasped me in their palms

and squashed my wings..

All was gone..

Bleak and empty..

How many nights

has my pillow cried..

How many days

have my shadows screamed..

But then fate has its way of playing..

Things do twist almost too often..

and now am at the brighter side..

even tho its still shadowy at times..

I mean I feel like a checkered board actually..

As much as happy I am..

The war thats been ongoing

is tearing my heart into pieces.

But what do I do

except

sit with a smile

and wait

as I always have..

Sometimes it just gets unbearable..

But no choice right?

Its not like a movie

where I can pause everyone around me..

Run to the clock,

turn the hands!

Run to the calender,

tear out the pages

and wella,

I am in a future

where

everythings just the way I want..

PICTURE PUUURFECTO!!

well..

I dont even have to pinch myself

coz I have been through SO many things to know

that hello! I got to come back to reality soon!

Life is just a funny movie..

U cry, u laugh..U feel at the end you just walk off leaving the screen empty..

hmm..I started it off like a letter right..

But heck I know it does nt sound like one coz its not..

As usual I diverted and I am blabbering..

Too draggy perhaps.. So I better leave now..

Oh by the way GOD,

You can turn the hands of the clock pretty fast if u want too right?

FW: Liu Bolin... Invisible Man

2011-04-28T10:03:00.001+08:00

This guy paints himself, no kidding, no trick photography he just paints himself...

Last pic is simply brilliant... ..Couldn' t spot him

2011-04-27T10:44:00.002+08:00

After years,

I have started running..

Okie, not really into full sprinting

haha

but jogging plus walking plus stair case climbing..

And

I FEEL GOOD!

It felt great to run in the rain yesterday!

If not for my handphone

I would have been in there longer@

hmm..

and theres something about

fighting against the wind

and moving forward!

Beats me on why I didnt feel it before!!

=0)

AND SUDDENLY I MISS WRITING!!!!

I miss being a joournalist..

:( but alls for good.. :) I hope.. (:

2011-04-26T17:23:00.002+08:00

Yet another new place!

Yet another bunch of new faces..

Taking in as it goes!

as my bestie says:

My life is filled with NEW chapters!

haha..

hmm..

okie..

Nothing much to say for the first day actually..

We will see..

Missing my bestie very badly!

Might meet her later!

For now adious!

2011-04-21T16:18:00.002+08:00

Had the sudden urge to sketch again..

Haha I only draw when I have the urge

coz thats when I get them near to right..

If not most of them will look like

Caricatures..

hahah..

Well, nothing professional..

but I think m improving

hha just to keep my mind diverted..

Its better to be a drawing on paper

rather living human being..

hiaz..

and

the

ideas

were

plucked

from

several

websites

and

modified

my style.

haha..
and

was

edited

from

iphone

too..

2011-04-21T16:14:00.002+08:00

நான் வாழும் வீட்டுக்குள்

வேராரும் வந்தால் தகுமா..

நான் நானா?

கேட்டேன் என்னை நானே..

கடவுளே கடவுளே

கனவில் கூட

பார்க்கமுடியவில்லை

நிஜத்தை..

மீண்டும்

நான்

நானாக

வரத்தை

கொடு..

2011-04-18T16:08:00.002+08:00

இதுவும் கடந்து போகும்..

ஆண்டுகள் கடந்து சென்றாலும்

விட்டு விலகாத நினைவுகளோடு

காலம் கடந்து செல்லும்..

சென்ற பாதையில் முற்களைக் கடந்தோம்..

பூக்களின் வாசத்தை சுவாசித்தோம்..

கைப்பிடித்து நடக்கையில்

பேசிய பேச்சுகளை ரசித்தோம்..

அருகருகே அமைதியில் அமர்கையில்

மௌனத்தை மதித்தோம்..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had a sudden word attack and all these words spilld out..

But the sudden noise disrupted my thoughts

and I cant go on any further..

haha,

Not even sure who am refering to

in the poem..

hmm well feel free to continue

if you think you can..

hehe..

2011-04-13T15:25:00.002+08:00

As her eyelids are shutting down,

She's struggling to avoid plunging into th darkness..

....She's got this urge nowadays....

To Run,

let the

brush past her..

To feel the wildness..

To let it all go..

She has the urge to read alot..

To dwell deep into the characters and be part of their world..

She has got the urge

to get wet in the rain

like the good old days..

She yearns to be

a child again..

To be freed..Free... Seems like she has all the freedom that she has. But something seems lacking in her life.. A part of her seems to be void.. In seach of something..

While piling up on her cravings..urges..

It gets her nerve at times..

That tho she seems smiling.

Her mind is crying out..wailing out...

She has the urge to just travel..

Go far far away..

From the darkness

thats trying

to swallow her..

Most of all.. She just has the urge, To Be Herself..

All over again..

Like Never Before..

2011-04-11T13:19:00.002+08:00

My huney bun sugar

Angel turns25 today!!

Welcome board baby!

Haha..

My god sent gift..

Who was there

to share my burdens

double my joy..

Someone whom I could sit with in silence for hours

and feel as if I had the most awsome communication ever

would definitely be my bestie loggie!!

Love ya baby!!

Wishing only the best for you!!

May your path ahead be filled with

golden moments, cherishable memories

and of course ME!!

hehe and I pray that you find you soul mate sooooon!!

Vallimma will indeed agree with me!

Vayasaaguthullae!

Faster settle down can!

haha, I can feel your stare!

lol,

hmm its your birthday and I am so sorry that I cant meet u today babe!

but soon we will have a bash k!

you and me and our 'romantic' dinner!haha..

HOPE YOU HAVE ABLAST TODAY and A FANTASTIC DAY!!

LOVE YA MANY MANY!! MUAAAX!!

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY THOZHI!!

2011-04-11T12:30:00.002+08:00

As am sitting here all along..

listening to the fan's gentle breeze..

and the music thats jarring from my Iphone ear phone..

My thoughts are really wandering around.

Have been passing on good opportunities

because of the naggy feeling somewhere in the corner of my heart..

All this while,

durng that fast pace life..

I seem to have lost my originality somewhere.

I feel dazed..

Its not like I have ZERO idea..

I do have a few wishes.

But most have them seem to have a road block..

and am afraid my time is gonna run out by unblocking them..

A car license..

A degree..

A production house or a events company..

A short drama wit my darlings..

A variety show..

Something that shows the worldwhat we have been through..

But all that seems to be hazy now..

All seems to be hesitant to materialize..

Am not sure if m fair to say this..

but if my status changes..

MAYBE JUST MAYBE..

A few of the above may change.

I dont know..

Its been nearly 4 months..

And am only missing my room

and my softies..

As for the others..

Yet again..

theres a question mark..

Alot has happened to stir the phobia in me again..

Got to wait for theright time andsuitable scenario to dig it deep in grave again..

At the moment..

I canonly go with the flow..

Whaever thats gonna happen..

Am gonna leave it at the hands of Allah..

Pls show me the right path..

A

2011-03-08T14:27:00.002+08:00

Abeedhah is bored!!! But then again she does nt know what she wants to do.. Something is in store and only fate will reveal it.. Till then she got to wait.. Sweeping the draggy hours away.. Hiaz.. And she was her Sis cooking in the kitchen.. So off she goes..

2011-03-04T11:06:00.001+08:00

Finally its here..

Counting down

to a few more hours..

And then

its another LAST Day..

Time to end..

Yet another chapter..

The satisfaction

am craving for

is yet to be found..

Lets see what awaits

in the next 'semester..'

and

You can only display the options..

You cant force it into someone's mind..

I have dont my part..

In a way am glad for where I am now..

Peaceful..but still..Something is amiss..

........................................................................................................................
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
........................................................................................................................

2011-02-28T10:32:00.002+08:00

Yet another count down starts..

To Friday..

Another ending..

Although

I have got options after that..

Am still clueles...

The situation

that was stirred in december

does nt seem to get better.

In fact its getting worst

with each of their action..

and

people are really getting frustrated with them..

I really hope

some one will tell

that to their face

as They think other wise!

Funny!

Weird

some people just can't

use the component

called BRAINS

in their upper department!

hiaz.

Oh btw

Another

wedding is coming up soon in the family!

Most of us are gonna be wearing lengha

and I love mine!

Just collected it from

JB Tailoring shop yesterday..

But a small prob!

haha

I love my punjabi suit even more then the lengha!

The colour really stole my heart away!

haha..

I am telling myself

I have to wear the lengha

but m so tempted with the punjabi suit!

lol..

and after ages am going all GOLD jewellry!!

haha..

Hmm..

I am praying the week should run fast fast..

Feb seems to be dragging abit..

maybe coz m expecting certain things..

My NEPHEW's arrival!!

hehe..

Excited!

Nervous

and certainly delighted!

Praying the mother will have a smooth delivery!

Insha allah

and My nephew will have FUN upon his arrival!

heehe..

Counting down for that too..

Life is full of count downs actually eh..

hmm..

I wanna blog alot today

but I am actually at work..

lol

and I need to do

WORK!

So See ya guys later!

Have a fabulous week ahead!

Ameen!

2011-02-22T18:34:00.002+08:00

Where this path thats staring at me is heading too..

Only GOD Knows..

I feel as if m standing in front of this lone long alley..

that is ambushed by tonnes of stuff..

and yet all look alienated to me..

As I stand there..

Things magnify..zoom and I become a micro mini thing in the picture..

yeah thats how I feel..

A micro mini thing..

that people are after..

coz I am what they claim to be a possession..

Something they safe guarded to show case..

and now that it has flown off..

Its all its own fault..

What the hell..

I m neither made of cotton nor am I made of rock..

No matter how many times I have screamed this out..

They just dont get it..
And
then what to I do ONE Fine day?
I just WALK Off!
and what do people tell me..
NO POINT RUNNING!
am I running..? for GOD's sake have been through enough..

I need a break..

I need a back up..

I need a shoulder to lean on

and most of all

I need a soul who trusts me..

I am sick and tired of them shooting questiongs and statements at me..

Assumption of what I am or rather

forcing their expections on me

as pushed me off my brim..

Alot of things have been spinning a tale around me since end december 2010..
Its still swirvelling around me..
I am just being swept by the breeze..
Not knowing where I am going..
Pls dont ask me how long or what am gonna do..?
If I knew I would gladly tell..

All I know

is that I dont wanna go back to being 'goody two shoes..'

Back to the same old square one..

where emotions push me to the shadow..

and my sun light just fades off into a rainy weather..

Let me just get to the green meadow..

Run around..
Play on the swings..
Watch a double rainbow..
A beautiful orangey sun set..
and then go to sleep
counting the dazzling stars..
Sounds simple isn't it..
but

An Aquarian life..

always seems complicated in a simple manner..

FW: Greetings To All My Friends From Far & Near !

2011-01-31T13:56:00.001+08:00

To my dear friends...have a wonderful Lunar New Year ahead....

May you always make the right moves.

May your cup run over with love.

May you always find shelter from any storm.

May you remain good looking and looking good!

May you find the perfect diet for your soul.
(If this face doesn't make you want to stop eating sausage, nothing will.)

May you find perfect balance in the company you keep.

May you have as much fun as you can before someone makes you stop.

May the worst thing that happens to you come in slobbery pink and furry tan.

May you manage to make time for siesta.

May all the new folks you meet be interesting and kind.

May your accessories always harmonize with your natural beauty!

Should your mouth be bigger than your stomach, may you have a chewing good time!

May you always know when to walk away and know when to run.

And may your friends always bring you joy!

MAY YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL LUNAR NEW YEAR FILLED WITH LOVE, GOOD HEALTH AND HOPE.

2011-01-24T10:20:00.002+08:00

தேடியே தேடியே

கண்கள் ஓய்கின்றதே..

அம்புலி போலவே என் நம்பிக்கை தேய்கின்றதே..

-----------------------------------------------------------------

சும்மா கிடந்த சங்கை ஊதி

கெடுத்த மாதிரி இருக்கு..

நல்ல தான் போய்ட்டு இருந்துச்சு..

திடிருன்னு இந்த வருஷத்துக்கு அப்படி ஒரு எதிர்பார்ப்பு..

பார்ப்போம்.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2011-01-17T13:20:00.003+08:00

I am on the verge of giving this up..

I nearly gave up on blogging..

everything..

It has been a month full of turmoils..

Although I enjoyed the special days like new year..

I am still wandering around..
Wondering about my future..
I feel lost..
My new job..
Totally disastrous..

I miss RGPS!

I miss my co ccpes!

The fun we had when we go out..

Organize stuff..

I even miss my TM Makkals..

The warm hugs from pattu maami and Consoling words

from my clan!

=((
Things seem so cluttered!!
I am gonna be 25 soon
and I still have nt figured out what am gonna do in life.
so much fo talking abt focus and stuff..
I need a life thats exciting..

on the go..

and RANDOM..

I feel like am losing my true self..

That day.Saturday to be accurate

when I was travelling back home..

I was soo lost in thoughts

that an hour seemed like a few mins to me..

I was simply lost..

Well I took a few decisions..

Am not worried about that..

even tho MOST peopl have been eyeing me with a 'you too!' shake head

reaction..I just dont give a damn about it

coz am tired of all the struggling
fighting and trying to explain what m I ..
Am a simple next door gal..
who dreams alot about what her future is gonna be like..
Simple..yet complicated..
This other side of me..
Will I ever reveal it..?

Naa..

Its like tearing a pillow out..

and letting all the feathers and cottons fly around the room..

Trying to differentiate and grab the one that made the impact..

Gosh am blabbering..

Have been..

I soo want my future NOW..

My future where
I ll have a place called MINE..
A person to call MINE..
and
A LIFE THATS MINE..
Entirely based on who I am..
Not wanting to change a bit..
Someone who doesnt expect me to change..

Is it too much to expect a bit..

Just a tiny bit..

GOD..

I l go bonkers soon..

After all its neither cotton nor rock..

Its called HEART..

2010-12-25T23:52:00.001+08:00

CUT THE CRAP!
I DON'T WANNA HEAR
ANYTHING FROM YOU!

2010-12-25T20:23:00.002+08:00

I really don't understand
what CRAB is going on in my life..
Every time it seems to settle down..
Only to have it bouncing back
to square one or
even further down
the road
for that matter!
My patience
is running
very
LOW!
SERIOUSLY!
I don't want
any kinda SHIT
to happen in 2011!
I have had ENOUGH this year
and I don't think
I have the tolerance level or
whatever pathetic reaction
you are expecting from me!
Roll around or throw tantrum..
I really have nothing
to give..
I miss moments
that I treasured..
My moments where
had genuine people around..
Darn.. I feel so suffocated,
Its really really really irritating..
Make me think abt immigrating alot!
just
AWAY FROM ALL THIS FARCE!
you are nt a kid to ignore
what i v been trying to tell.
and m no kid either to nod my head
and SHUT THE HELL UP.
I am responsible for what I am
and What I need to do.
So dictating
doesn't work anymore!
Darn.. It feels like its been ages
since I was genuinely happy
and that I wrote a post saying that
I am happy or I liked what I m living for..
LONG LONG TIME AGO..
AND
I HATE THE FACT THAT
2010
WAS TOTALLY RUINED
TO THE CORE!
IF GIVEN A CHOICE
I will DELETE IT
OFF MY BOOK!
But then again
it just showed me some
new aspects of thinks
and changed my thinking.
Hard way
but wth it just HAD TO HAPPEN.
If only this was a video blog..
Either I would have been screaming
or tearing!
I cant understand
certain humans!
WHY R U SOOO FAKE!!!!!!!????
Even after all these
they dont understand
WHAT THE HELL
M I TO DO??!!
I m really on the brink
of sooo much of frustration!
I just wanna get out of here!
I DONT WANNA TALK
TO anyone involved
abt certain issues
any more as
I dunt think
I ll be opening
my mouth
anymore!
USELESS IS NT IT!
Pre fixed ideas
in your mind
and why the hell
Should I waste
my BLOODY time?
ENERGY AND
STILL
GET
THE
BLOODY
CURSE
at the end of the day!
After all no matter
how long its been
it still hurts
like freaking hell
when I think
abt the incidents
happened
during the earlier
part of the year!
If
its gonna
repeat again
am not gonna
waste my time!
and there she strolled in..
asking whats wrong
as if its nt written on ma face!
I dont like to be fake
so if m nt HAPPy
M NOT HAPPY.
OKIE.
Leave me alone
coz I dont wanna hear the complaint
of m talking too much
or screaming too much!
Wanna dig up a prob
than go somewhere else!
Very soon
if things get out of hand again
I might be pushed to do ANYTHING!
Thats all I v got to say !

2010-12-07T19:04:00.003+08:00

Its getting late..
For alot of stuff..
Alot of people..
The worlde revolves..
and the life changes..
Suddenly
am in a philosphical mood.
We believe there are countless stars in the sky..
At least I do..
Somewhere..
Every second
theres a falling star
that decorates the earth..
Why you may ask..
Coz
I have seen it
with ma own eyes..
So is seeing beliving..
Maybe..
Maybe not..
I am just running
around..
Wishing
praying
that everyday
runs in a fast paced mode.
Nothing seems to matter anymore..
All I want is
Time to really fly..
Life to move on..
Tiger year was BAD..
except for the lost connections found..
But then again..
Maybe it was fated to be..
Talking about it may seem pointless..
But I realised..Its slowly simmering things down..
Just going with the flow..
I know not
whats gonna happen next..
But something deep inside tells me..
Major changes are waiting in the next year thats running in..
Well,
The sun has bade good bye long time ago..
And the moon is shining quite brightly outside my office..
Its time for me to take that walk out..
and do my work..
So Adious for now..
=)

2010-11-30T19:12:00.002+08:00

As I stare around my workplace,

Something

ironic catches my eyes..

Two people

who didnt get along in my life

are side by side on my desk..

haha..

well..I dont wanna say who..

but I am hoping things

will straighten out

in that area of my life as well..

Coz when the big day arrives..

I want both of them beside me..

If u ask me to sacrifice one for another,

its literally asking me to poke my eyes by myself..

Darn painful it will be..

Maybe thats why

am yet to find a partner..

More important things are left hanging in the air..

hmm...

and now work calls...

2010-11-25T17:13:00.002+08:00

குமரி உருவம்..
குழந்தை உள்ளம்..
இரண்டும் ஒன்றான
மாயம் நீயோ..
--------------------------------

பல மாற்றங்கள் வந்த போதும்
ஒன்று மட்டும் மாறவில்லை..
ஏன் என்று தெரியவில்லை..
கேட்கவும் மனதில் துணிச்சலில்லை..
நிழலை விட்டு
நிஜத்தை நேசிக்கும் நாள் வருமா
என்ற கேள்விக்கு
பதில் கிடைக்கும் நாள் என்றோ..
அதை எண்ணிக்
கடிகார முள் நகரும் நிமிடங்களை
எண்ணிக் கொண்டிருகிறாள்.

இவளும் ஒரு சராசரிப் பெண் தானே..

2010-11-17T17:42:00.002+08:00

Lemme tell you something..
I
CAN'T
BELIEVE
THE YEAR IS GONNA END..
In about a month..
but
well..
I was kinda expecting..
hoping..
wishing
for the year to fly..
Too much of things
this year..
&
then
My thoughts
are interrupted!
I will come back
to write again..
hehe..

2010-11-10T14:46:00.001+08:00

Not Getting What You Want May Turn Out To Be A Stroke Of Luck Sometimes

Now An Expert @ Anything Was Once A Beginner

உங்க‌ள் கைப்பிடித்து

ந‌ட‌ந்த‌ நாட்க‌ள்

என் ம‌ன‌தில்

ப‌சும‌ர‌த்தாணி போல்

ப‌திந்துள்ள‌ன‌.

சாலை

க‌ட‌க்கும்போதெல்லாம்

பூத‌க் கார்க‌ளைக் க‌ண்டு ப‌தைப‌தைக்கும்

என் ம‌ன‌தின் ச‌த்த‌ம்

உங்க‌ள் காதுக‌ளுக்கு

எப்ப‌டித்தான்

எட்டுமோ?

என்

ப‌ய‌த்தைப்

போக்க‌

என் க‌ர‌த்தை

அழுத்தும்

உங்க‌ள்

க‌ர‌ங்க‌ளின் உள்

என் ப‌ய‌த்தையும்

சேர்த்துப் புதைத்து

வ‌ள‌ர்ந்த‌வ‌ள் நான்..

என் க‌டைக்க‌ண்

பார்வையில் என‌க்குப்

பிடித்த‌வ‌ற்றையெல்லாம்

புரிந்து கொண்டு

செய்த‌

உங்க‌ளை

தொலைத்து

விட்டு

எந்த‌க் காட்டில்

திரிவ‌து

நான்..?

வானில்

வ‌ந்து போகும்

மின்ன‌லாய்

உங்க‌ளை

விட‌

முடிய‌வில்லை..

ஏனெனில்

ம‌க‌ள்க‌ளின்

இன‌த்திற்கு

த‌ந்தைய‌ர்க‌ளே

நிழ‌ல் அல்ல‌வா..

2010-11-05T23:01:00.003+08:00

As the days

Are flying My thoughts are going BONKERS..
I don't know Why.. but an unknown fear is
Settling inside.. No..no.. not settling.. Its growing deep.. with its roots..

Wonder whats all this fuss inside me is about..
The fear of losing people is still inside me I guess..
Past experince was such.. Gosh.. I really can't understand..
Why I feel what I feel @ Times..
Lost..fear..Lonely.. Tears seem to be free flowing nowadays.. and I cant seem to help it..

God help me.. How I wish I could erase some Memories away..

If only Life was a blackboard..

2010-11-02T11:35:00.002+08:00

Am I settling down in here?
Is this my cup of cofee..?
well,
to tell the truth
I know fo rsure
it's definitely not..
but then again
I really dont have a choice at the moment..
Time is running out
and its definitely precious to me..
All the time I get here
and I spend at home..
Is def worth the sacrifice..
I miss the warmth and cosiness
at tm tho..
The people who made me smile
and those who gave their shoulders
when I badly needed it..
To start from scratch here..
Well..m giving myself the time again..
not really a good time..coz I got to mingle alot of issues..
Uncle has been diagnoised with advanced stage lung cancer as well..
The third person in the family to be hit by illness..
and his is most probably the worst case scenario..
as his kids are still very young..
Its heart wrenching..
I just hope his will powere beats the odds..
What else to say..?
I am on the verge of screaming..
I just feel like migrating away..
far far away.. and coming back years later..
for my kids to grow up herre.
but I just wanna escape away..
from all the issues thats been strangling me..
Gonna turn 25..but I feel twice my age..
seen so much I guess.. makes me feel pretty old inside..
Feels like what else is there to see..?
hmm.. before I get emo again..
I better get back..
to work..
And its wednesday tmr..
I miss the hustle bustle wednesdays..
=(

2010-10-28T01:21:00.006+08:00

Metamorphosis-Maybe.
LOL!

2010-10-27T23:44:00.003+08:00

Can
I
be
A
Character
in
A
Virtual
Game
or
Some
fairytale
classic?
Simply
meaning
Can
I
just
don't
exist
?
Life
seems
so
complicated
now.
And
to
think
that
nothing much
is really
going on..
Maybe thats the problem..
Gosh..
Whats
becoming of me..
Such
a
confused
soul..
and
yet..
This
mask
that I wear..
Sometimes..
I can really
visualize
myself
as a clown.
I dont have
to explain
why right..?

And
It gets
heavier..
The load on the shoulders..
When
all people
do is ask
and pour out..
And to those
who come offering
their ears and shoulders.
It freaksher out
after some time..
Coz
of the past..
God help her..
----------------------------------------------------------------------

2010-10-27T00:27:00.002+08:00

M really dazed..
I may have behaved as if
I am the strong one there..
I dont even remember what I said
in the scenario..
But thank god
I managed to calm her down..
I totally understand how she feels..
But the way she screamed when visitors came..
Maybe she cld have been more composed..
By raising her voice
she definitely was nt showing people
that she was strong as she said..
I think
pointing that out to her
made her pause and think..
Allah pls give her and all of us the strength..
Not one but three in the family..
are going through similar stuff..
why on earth must this be happening
is a question thats going through
all our minds..
but whatever had happened..
I always believe..
theres still a tomorrow..
A new beginning
and a fresh start.
You can never erase what happen yesterday
but
you can always be prepared for a better tomorrow..

I am saying all this now
coz I have been through the mental preparation stage..
but even till today..
Sometimes.
when am alone staring at empty space..
The thought of not having him around
scares the hell outta me..
Pity nas and loggie
who get their ears 'wet' with my tears
when I get real emo..
I just hope everyone is blessed with
a long healthy life..
No matter who you are in life..
You are always
your kids super hero.
remember that and things wont be that bad..
I kinda miss staying in with
the girls for zeen's wedding..
It helped me forget most of my worries..
As always m wandering when I will be satisfied..
I need distractions
from missing all those stuffs.
Good distractions
that will help me prosper.
Oh on a good note
I might be organizing
a cousins outdoor shooting.
That is a bit motivating.
We ll see.
Insha allah..
My mind is filled with words..
But my thoughts are hazy as well..
I dont wanna splurge words
on emotional basis
as I used too..
Let me calm down
and
I will be back..
Take care
people..
=)
Sweet dreams
and remember to make
that lil wish
that lingers in your heart..
for you never know
when a star is falling
down the earth
sprinkling its gold dust.
=)

2010-10-25T15:25:00.002+08:00

wow..within the blink of an eye..
so many things have happened..
I changed from full time to free lance.
Zeen's deco nyte where things took a twist and
I ended up being the henna artist the next day.
Started the work at 4pm and ended around 4plus in the early morning!
Her wedding itself.. Amazing to withness such moments.
Esp if the one getting married is born in the same hospital as u and just four days apart!
Alhamdulilah that the wedding went on well. =)
Sunday was the 'next house moment' where we were filled with varety of foods!!!!
And today am at MDIS working!
okie actually not really working at the moment.
Am trying keep myself wide awake coz m supposed to read notes and stuff..
and thats making me sleep at the moment..
arg even now my eye lids are shutting down!
GOD SAVE ME!
I am not used to the 830 timing in a long while
anf therefore its soo difficult!
If I take the bus now
I ll sleep!!!
Okie Ii l go off now
I ll write the rest later!
=P

2010-10-08T18:17:00.003+08:00

இந்த தருணம்..

இந்த நொடி..

சுவாசிக்கிறேன்..

நான் கேட்ட வார்த்தைகளை..

அவை நிஜமாக வேண்டும்

என்று நித்தமும் நினைக்கிறது

எனது உள்ளம்..

காத்திருப்பேன்

அந்த நாள் வரை..

அன்று தெரியும்

மகிழ்ச்சியில் வார்த்தைகள் உளருமா ..

அல்லது சுவாசம் நிற்குமா

என்று..

2010-10-08T00:32:00.002+08:00

Zoom Zoom
Robo duh!
Robo Duh!
Boom Boom!
Robo duh
Robo Duh!
haha!
Am In Love!
With the Idea
of having a robotic
boyfriend!
lol!
but then again,
would life be fun
to have someone
who nods his head
to everything you say..?
hmm,
I dont wanna answer that yet.
haha
coz I am yet to see.

This year children day
weekend
was fun!
Saturday
Pasir ris Chalet!
Sunday
Changi Beach!
Monday
Iyanthiran Movie!

Wee!
and
am soo looking forward
to the 20th of october!
My last day
in
Tamil Murasu
as of now!
Going back to a regular
timing
job
to continue
my studies.
Complete my driving
and
spend
more time
with family friends
and well maybe
see if
I have the time
to change my status!
haha
Well well,
Whatever happens
will happen as fated
and happen for the reason!

So let me count the days
and look forward to many more
happy bright mornings
and cheerful nights!

Suddenly remembered a quote that
I once read some where:
"I wake up smiling when
he says goodbye to me in the morning
and I go to sleep laughing because
he'll say something
before I go into dream land."
It does sound nice..
hahaha!

2010-09-27T01:06:00.002+08:00

God
knows
why
she's doing..
what
She's doing..
Maybe
God
wants
her
to meet
a few
people
before
showing
the
right
one
so that
He
will
be treasured,
valued
&
cherished..
And
She lost a brand new anklet today..
Something that she badly wanted.
No reasons..
but BADLY wanted..
one for mommy
and one for her..
and both gone..
=(
Feeling very sad..
one for that
and the other one
coz
She got to go back tmr..
Till
October 20..
There goes life..
As it is fated..
or maybe..
It will be rewritten
as
It flows..
Whatever
it is..
She prays its all for good..

" THE HEART WAITS WITH A TAG..
'Reserved'
is the word on it.
But
ROMEO..
Remember,
Tags tend
to tear off..''

=)

2010-09-21T17:47:00.002+08:00

ஒன்றரை ஆண்டுகள்

உருண்டோடி விட்டன.

கண் முடித் திறப்பதற்குள்.

அடுத்த அத்தியாயத்திற்கு

நேரம் வந்துவிட்டது

பறந்து செல்கிறது

இந்தப்பறவை..

அடுத்த சரணாலயத்தை தேடி..

நிலைக்குமா

நீடிக்குமா

---------------------------

2010-09-19T03:30:00.002+08:00

Marriage of Convenience.
Sounds scary..
but
MAYBE.
just maybe
it might work..
After all
its
HIM
who writes the script..
Remember
Someone telling me
First love never succeeds..
Thinking back..
I wonder
if I ever been in LOVE..
like..
really really
LOVE..
maybe
all along it was
just 'puppy' crushes..
And if that's the reality..
then
there are two possibilities that might happen..
One,
FIRST LOVE for me..head or tail scenario
or
I think
I will never fall in love..
But then again..
Is it possible
to receive
so much of love without giving it back..
or
To love someone
without
expecting none to be returned..
Either way..
Love sounds painful..
Am I ready to open my heart and accept it.
I am not sure.
Till I meet the one
who convinces me..
The questions
shall
(as always)
Linger in the air
.......................................

2010-09-14T15:47:00.004+08:00

This year raya was definitely
a roller coaster ride.
So many things
to look at..
So much of issues
that cropped up.
So many incidents
that made me take up
certain decisions.
Well, In the end,
Alls for good.
After years,
We hanged out as cousins
on the second day of hari raya season.
Went to 7 houses
and had so much of feast
that we were screaming 'enough'
haha.
and nearly
7 days of Annual leave
has flown by..
I would nt say
I didnt make use of it.
But it's just that
it could have been definitely better..
Initial plans were all changed..
Looking forward
to positive changes in life..
What else can I say..
Well As for the rest,
The pictures shall speak..
=] Selamat Hari Raya 2 All! =]

With The Paternal Grandma.

The First feast.

Mubeenah and Manzurah.

Serving.

Shaheed with his mini Camera. hehe.

Ladies + Shaheed at Habeeba Maami's home.

The elder siblings with Habeeba Aunty.

The Guys.

With Nabihah at Ajima's home.

I really like this picture.
Credits to Nabihah.
=]

For More Pictures, Refer to facebook:
=}
facebook.com/Fallenangelshere

2010-08-31T00:39:00.001+08:00

The Dash Poem, by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

2010-08-31T00:39:00.000+08:00

The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis

Happy Monday!

My sister in law sent this to me recently. Thought-provoking and inspiring – think about your dash.